About the WBP
In order to salvage Alberta’s democratic system we the plants, animals, stones, bitumen (and people) proudly announce the birth of the Wild Boar Party of Alberta. No longer will the unofficial opposition go unopposed. The Wild Boar Party of Alberta is, from this moment on, the unofficial opposition to the unofficial opposition!
It is unacceptable that the truly right and just people of Alberta have been left without moral and reasonable representation for so long. As of today, there is a new voice for truly common-sensical Albertans. The Wild Boar Party stands as a very large, erect pillar of righteousness and freedom. As many of you know, wild boar have finally taken their rightful place on the plains of Alberta. While it is true that we have been referred to as an invasive species, we contest that our place here is as justified as any (with maybe the exception of Aboriginal peoples, but like all politicians we would prefer not to talk about them and secretly wish they would go back where they came from).
You can reach us by visiting the following locations:
Check out our Wild Boar Bus touring Alberta. Our bus has balls! In fact, our bus is not a bus at all, instead you can see our Freedom Sand-fuelled Mutha F*@&ing Truck parked in a Walmart parking lot near you.
If the left-wing communist Wild Rose and PC parties are a submarine of oppression, the Wild Boar Party obliterates them with our six libertarian policy missiles of freedom:
- Rename the Alberta Tar Sands the Freedom Sands.
- We believe in truly small government, we will not run candidates over 5 feet tall when standing on their hind legs.
- Weaponize the mountains: they have been doing nothing for far too long. You will thank us when the Icelandics show up.
- Redraft the Boarders of Alberta to give Saskatchewan the boring bits and annex a corridor through BC to the coast – take that pipeline haters!
- Make bacon the official flower of Alberta
- Banish David Suzuki to forever roam the hills of Nova Scotia. The sky is falling there too Chicken Little.
- Stop all immigration, unless they are from Newfoundland and can pass a English as an second language certificate. (To you Newfies that means “can talk right good b’y”)
No drivers licenses, no prescriptions, no asking, no telling, NO F#$@ING PIXIES, no taxes of any sort, no spending on infrastructure, no spending at all, no nanny state, no freeloaders, no “isms” of any sort, NO RANKIN FAMILY, no unholy unions, no holy unions, no interspecies relations.
Learn more about our heritage: CTV Newscast about Wild Boars in Alberta
We’re adopting Tyra – A True Patriot! (link)
Saskatchewan threatens Alberta with weaponized gophers. So we sent them this: (link)
(That’s right, we will neutralize the gopher threat through taxidermy and the construction of adorable diorama)
March 29 Fear of the Day: City of Warren